Forever Home in the Eternal Family of God

Daily Encouragement for the Family of God by Kenton Cheek

21 October 2024

Reading From Matthew 18

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

 –Matthew 18:15-17

     Oh if only all of us would follow this pattern of conflict resolution laid out for us by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  How much more peace there would be in our lives and greater understanding between one another.  Notice that the very first directive is not to blab about the offense to anyone who will listen, gossiping and backbiting behind the back of someone who we might feel deserves it.  No, the very first thing that God tells us to do is to go to that person privately and talk through the problem. 

     If the person who has caused the offense will not listen to you when you have attempted to address the matter privately, take one or two others along with you and try to reason together as a group.  There is great wisdom in choosing the one or two other witnesses carefully.  People who are good at conflict resolution, peacemaking or who can see both sides of an issue would be excellent choices to bring along.  This also provides the safeguard of testimony.  The one or two others will be able to testify that you’re doing your best to make peace. 

     Unfortunately, Jesus does not guarantee that every conflict can be solved by following these steps.  Peace between the two parties is not a sure thing, but peace of mind is.  There is great comfort in the assurance that one has done all they can do to repair a relationship.  The rest must be left to the belligerent offender and to Almighty God. 

     There are two more steps to take here.  If private confrontation and group discussion do not work, take it before the leadership of the church government.  If the person will not go before them or there is no resolution when they do, then treat them “as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”  To me, this does not mean treat them badly, but to not socialize with them in the same way you do with friends and family.  Love them and pray for them, but a certain protective degree of separation is healthy and for the best.  If they want to be back in your good graces, they must come of their own accord. 

“Lord God, we need for You to intervene in our interpersonal relationships.  Please help us live at peace with each other.  I pray for humility and repentance for every one of my brothers and sisters in the faith.  Give us patience and perseverance and the strength to do what is right and just and fair.  In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.”

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

–Romans 12:17-21

Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.

–Matthew 5:9

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

–Matthew 5:44-45