Forever Home in the Eternal Family of God

A Daily Devotional by Kenton Cheek

12 April 2024

Reading From I Samuel 18-20, Psalm 11 & 59

“After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt…

…After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.

Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.”

–I Samuel 18:1-4, 20:41-42

     Deep friendship between men is rare in modern Western civilization.  Perhaps this might stem partially from our cultural mythology of masculinity.  We idolize the strong, silent type; the lone wolf who never shows emotion or vulnerability and keeps his thoughts to himself.  This is extremely problematic and unhealthy.  This brand of manliness isolates the man and robs the men around him of his companionship and comradery. Our concepts of what a man should be need to come from God, not society. Society is a train wreck.

     I don’t believe that masculinity is toxic unless a man is exhibiting behaviors that are indeed contrary to the principles of God’s Word.  Strength, responsibility, courage, honesty, assertiveness, ingenuity, independence, bravery, leadership, ambition, order, freedom and growth are not toxic.  Measuring one’s worth in dollars, how many women a man has slept with, what title they have in their career, what kind of car a man drives, worshipping sports to the neglect of one’s family, shutting people out, treating people with indifference, entitlement, rudeness, abuse and harassment are qualities of toxic masculinity.

     The truth is that men need deep, healthy, balanced relationships with other men.  Our society shames men into believing that becoming too close to another man is feminine or gay.  Satan wants to isolate men and make them feel as though they are not allowed to reach out for help or friendship. I believe that the Word of God, especially with this shining example of the relationship of David and Jonathan, advocates for brotherly love.  For this to happen in real life, men must have the courage to reach out for help and in turn be intentional to care about the well being of other men. Look to the example of Christ and His disciples.

     Hunting, fishing, hiking, camping, golfing, working out are great ways for men to spend time together, but somewhere along the line we need to understand that it’s ok for them to just talk over coffee, share thoughts they had about a book or their private lives, talk about history, pray for one another, or worship God together.  Some men are talented artists or musicians or poets.  This doesn’t make them gay.  It makes them admirable.  The Church has an incredible opportunity to normalize healthy, godly, brotherly love.  This can be an extraordinarily positive alternative to the unhealthy options offered by the world. It isn’t necessary for men to struggle alone. God is there for us and our brothers in Christ Jesus should be too.

“God, thank You for the perfect example You showed the world of healthy masculinity in Jesus, who in His earthly life was fully God and fully man.  In Your righteous anger You did not sin when You drove out the money changers from Your temple and yet You showed compassion for the weak, the vulnerable.  You had mercy on children and weren’t afraid to weep when Your friend Lazurus had died.  Thank You for the great examples of godly men in my church.  I pray that churches all over the world will endeavor to teach and model healthy masculinity and brotherly love.  May we honor You in our friendships.  Amen.”

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. –John 15:13

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! –Psalm 133:1

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. –Proverbs 18:24