Forever Home in the Eternal Family of God

23 January 2024

Reading From Genesis 32-34

“But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. ‘Who are these with you?’ he asked.  Jacob answered, ‘They are the children God has graciously given your servant.’ Then the female servants and their children approached and bowed down. Next, Leah and her children came and bowed down. Last of all came Joseph and Rachel, and they too bowed down. 

Esau asked, ‘What’s the meaning of all these flocks and herds I met?’ ‘To find favor in your eyes, my lord,’ he said.  But Esau said, ‘I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.’  ‘No, please!’ said Jacob. ‘If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.’ And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.”

–Genesis 33:4-10

     More than fourteen years before the events recorded in Genesis 33, Jacob had cheated his brother Esau out of his birthright and their father Isaac’s blessing.  Jacob was afraid of Esau’s vengeance and so at his mother’s insistence, he ran away to stay with his uncle Laban in Harran.  Cheat and run.  There he had married Leah and Rachel, sired eleven children and his wealth had greatly increased.  Wealth at this time for these nomadic people was quantified in herds, flocks, jewelry, family, servants and the like.  When Laban had continued to cheat Jacob of his wages, Jacob and his household ran away.  Interesting that Jacob cheated Esau but didn’t like it too much when Laban did it to him.  Laban caught up with them and they agreed to amicably part ways and set up a border between their lands.  Now after all these years, they meet up and Jacob is still afraid that Esau will kill him. 

     Jacob sends generous gifts ahead of him in hopes to smooth things over before they see each other face to face.  The gifts turned out to be unnecessary as Esau was ready to forgive and restore their relationship.  We can possibly view Jacob’s gifts as a sign that he was acknowledging that he had done something wrong and was trying to not only appease but make amends.  What I find amazing about Esau’s response is to Jacob and his gifts is that it wasn’t restoring the wealth that he had been cheated out of by Jacob’s deception that mattered to him.  Esau cared more about restoring the relationship between them. 

     “Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.”[1]  When I have wronged someone, it is vital that I acknowledge my fault, apologize, ask for forgiveness and attempt to make things right.  Psalm 51:17 says, “My sacrifice, O God, isa broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.”  Contrite means that I am genuinely remorseful and affected by guilt.[2]  If I have been hurt by someone else, it is understandable that I feel pain and perhaps anger and bitterness.

     For me to enjoy spiritual health, though, I need to allow God to bring me along in a process of forgiveness.  Even if I am infuriated with the person or people or even myself, a great place to start is by praying for them.  I can remember a time when I harbored such hatred for someone, I could only pray that God would hurt them.  Gradually, as I forced myself to continue praying for them, God changed my heart and eventually, weeks later, I was able to pray that God would bless them.  Jesus tells us, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”[3]  Forgiveness is a process.[4]

     Sometimes those who have hurt us have no idea they have done so.  Their hearts might be calloused and insensitive due to the hurts they themselves have received over time.  Hurt people hurt people.  It’s part of healthy growth to take responsibility regardless of if our actions are caused by past hurts, but many times abusers/offenders/etc. don’t take responsibility.  If I choose to keep and feed a grudge against them, I fool myself into thinking that I’m punishing them by depriving them of my goodwill.  They usually have no clue about the extent of the offense or the pain it has caused.  What I am actually doing by remaining bitter is hurting myself.  Bitterness is corrosive to my own spiritual wellbeing.  It may have been Mark Twain who said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”[5]  Remember what we discussed in the case of Jacob and Laban.  In cases where peace and safety are at stake, healthy boundaries must be in place.  Yet even in situations where reunion and restoration of relationship do not seem possible or advised, forgiveness is always an option that should be pursued.[6]

     One evening, while I was wrestling with deeply rooted unforgiveness, God gave me a vision of me alone on a wagon in some rough, desert terrain in the Old West.  The horses were dangerously wild, and we were careening toward a cliff.  I desperately tried to gain control of the situation.  I gripped the reigns so tightly my knuckles were white, and my palms were bleeding.  In that moment, I heard the voice of God tell me, “Be still and know that I AM GOD.[7]  Let go of the reins.”  I released the reins, and the horses immediately came to a stop right before the edge of the canyon.  I must surrender control of the situation to God and actively choose to let go of bitterness.  “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”[8]  Choose to forgive and walk with God through the process.  Hopefully you’ll have a Jacob and Esau kind of reunion, but even if you don’t, your heart will be healed and in right standing before the Lord.[9]

“Lord Jesus, give me the humility I need to know when I have done wrong or hurt someone.  Open my eyes to my faults that I might learn from them.  Give me strength to move forward by taking responsibility and making amends when possible.  Thank You for Your forgiveness of my sins.  I don’t deserve Your favor and love but thank You all the same.  I pray that You would give me the courage to confront in love those who have hurt me, release all bitterness from my heart, enable me to extend Your grace and mercy to others.  Bring healing to my heart and to the hearts of my brothers and sisters in You.  Amen.”

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

–Matthew 5:21-24

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[1] Proverbs 14:9

[2] Oxford Languages

[3] Matthew 5:43-44

[4] Luke 4:18, Psalm 147:3

[5] Goodreads.com

[6] Hebrews 12:14-15

[7] Psalm 46:10

[8] Ephesians 4:31-32

[9] Matthew 6:14-15